Make Him Known

I had reverserd her car out of the parking area.  About 8.30am. There were workers around the compound.  Someone for the landscaping. Someone for the chicken shelter. Two for a small paintjob.  Just a little tidying up for the holidays.  Which coincides with her anniversary since she moved here.  She always does something for the anniversary. It was four years today. 

“Ebu tushukuru” (let’s give thanks) She says once we’re all settled in the vehicle.
I was adjusting the rear-view mirror so I saw the reaction of the painter seated in the back there. Not surprise really.  But something in that neighbourhood.  Almost admiration. I’m not sure, but I could say he was impressed too. 

A trip to Juja later, I realise he’s born again.  A believer. A student of revival no less.  A servant minister.  This, of course, from the conversation he had with mum throughout. 
At the end of the journey as he disembarks to start his work for the day, he says to me, 

Usiwahi badilika kwa sababu yao. Si wewe ndio uko na Mkubwa? ”

I didn’t think much about it as I drove off to other errands. But yesterday I did.  That statement. Placing it into context, Mkubwa here, is Jesus.  He kept referring to Him as such.  And I loved it.  I mean, The Boss! Master! Kusema!
Something about that just makes me tremble with excitement! My boss – The Boss!  😎

***
I think about the Genesis of this conversation with Njugush (The painter). Tracing all the way back to the morning prayer in the car, by mum.  We always do that.  Since as long as I can remember.  Pray in the car, for the jouneys ahead.  Whether long or short distance. But there was a mgeni (guest) this time round.  I don’t know about you,  but if it were just me and him, I’d have made that prayer internally. As we go. You know those silent prayers? That you make so your friends or people around you don’t feel uncomfortable?Or atleast thats the excuse we make up. Those ones that don’t make you appear too “shpiri”? (spiritual)
I’m sure you know them. 
Yes.  Those ones that really cannot cast out a demon. But noooo. Mum wasn’t about to let someone she’s just met make her change her routine. . . In her own homeground no less! And that was how the conversation started. Because Jesus was made known! 🙌
It quickened in me this portion of scripture – turbo. 

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📷 Night Sky - Maurizio Fanton

” Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world.” 1John 4:4[Amp]

You have overcome them (the unbelievers, and doubters, and nay sayers) BECAUSE He who dwells in you, Jesus, is greater, mightier, than he who is in the world.  In you dwells The Game Changer!

It occurred to me that we travel a lot this Christmas Season.  To different parts of the globe too.  Our sphere of influence just increases. You cannot afford to change your routine because of people.  Someone might just see you pray for your meal and desire God! Someone else might hear you say “Bwana Yesu Asifiwe”  on a phone call and deeply long for Jesus.  Another might hear you doing your devotion in the morning, or see you studying your scriptures et cetera and just deeply require an encounter with the Father.  Because through you, they see it is possible.  This relationship with God.  So speak in other tongues. Keep off coarse talk. Stay clean. Give thanks for your meals. Commit your travels to God. Be a believer through and through.  Do not change a thing.  I mean The Boss is in you! You are like a power house.  Issues of life should flow through you! There must be a difference! You cannot blend in! Because that would mean the engines are not running.  The blades not turning. Resulting in darkness. And what good is darkness really?

Preach the gospel using your life/actions. Only if you must, or your asked, should you use your words.
Make that bold statement.  Hapa Yesu Tu!

Happy Holidays! 🙂

In The Wait

Have you waited for someone? Like a proper wait.  The kind of wait that leaves you at a place.  Like outside Teleposta Towers in Nairobi. Next to that red, all-caps ‘NO IDLING’  sign. Have you? I have.  My sister has too I’m sure. *sigh* Mom! 😂 Even worse better is waiting for someone who called you a half hour ago to inform you that their phone is just about to give up its ghost 👻,so you wait for them hapo kwa statue ya Dedan Kimathi near Hilton. I doubt there’s a more awkward place to wait in the CBD. But you wait anyway even if it takes an hour. You wait, whether it’s because you cannot leave, or will not leave.  You wait because no matter how long they make you wait, you know they always come around. And it’s always worth the wait.  You wait because there is no alternative, or the alternative is no good really.  Have you waited like that? You’re so on the look out.  Your eye darting in every direction, because you want to be the 1st to spot them. You want to catch that break that comes with knowing your waiting is over.  There’s some lowkey excitement there. 
This morning I found Isa 64:4 and it just bleeeew me away. 
For since the world began, no ear has heard, and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for him! [NLT]

And quickly my mind rushed to label Him, Jehovah Worth-The-Wait. If you’ve waited for God in the past and caught your break, you know what I mean. 

***
Yesterday, I went to the Peruvian consulate. My autopredict gave me ‘weave’ right after Peruvian. 😭 I was accompanying a friend.  It’s so hidden.  You could easily drive past it.  You can’t really see buildings past the gate.  Loads of trees.  I loved it.  He went in to the offices, while I waited outside.  What was supposed to be a drop-n-go transaction, turned into a meeting.  I was pressed,  therefore getting impatient.  I asked for the restrooms. 

“Long or short call? ” the guard asks.

” uuuuuhm… Short. However that is your business. O.o (I also had pilau, greens and a tiny slice of ugali left over from lunch for dinner last night.  Anything else? Mkubwa? )  😒

” Ah.  Wewe ni mwanaume. Hiyo utasimama tu kwa matawi hapa” he says pointing in no particular direction. 

” eeeeer. . . ” bewildered.

” sisi ndio sheria hapa.  Nimekuruhusu” as he walks away. 

I don’t mind peeing in the bushes really.  I don’t.  In the middle of nowhere.  In the night.  With no toilets anywhere near and a few litres in my bladder. 
But this one here took me a minute to process. Or a few more, because he came back to inquire, 

“Umemanage? ”

I mean! 😱😮.

Anyhu,  as I wait, I’m stressing about my spoilt phone camera to Mukiri, my boy over at Tecno. . . There’s this beautiful peacock. 1st I’ve seen all my life.  Right in front of me.  The beauty is something else.  I want to take a good pic.  It’s right there,  doing the mating dance for his woman who is near.  There’s not two things that I can compare to such beauty. Yet, I fuss. Over my phone camera. Why? To share it on Instagram. Duuuh! To forward it to my groups on whatsapp.  Hardly anything for myself. 

Just then something pops into my head.  “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.” [Psalms 46:10 MSG]

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📷 Muita Mathenge

Other versions say, be still and know, that I am God.  But I loooove this here rendition. Forget everything, and drink of God.  His beauty and splendor. His works and majesty. Be awestruck.  Refuse to get used to it. Learn a lesson, or two. Just. Take. Him. In. 

So I sit there and watch. And drink of God’s works in this beautiful creature. That majestic mating dance, all three times. I don’t want it to end. I ignore a few urgent texts too.  *sigh*

Often we don’t know what to do while waiting. Whether it is for someone. Or God. Apart from complain ofcourse.  Ow, we are pros at that. We will rant and fuss and flip tables et cetera et cetera.
Here’s something to do next time, just take in God’s flawless system here on earth.  Let it burn a place in your memory.  Let it cause you to count your blessings.  Let it make you anticipate the next lemon life might hand you , because you can’t wait to add God’s sweet love to it and make the best lemonade yet. Let it fatten your wait for the break. Let it get your praise on. Let it stir your faith. Deliberately. Let it whet your appetite for His arrival. Just, Let it! 

Joy Incomplete

We’re having dinner together the other day at the table.  Regular family evening.  The tv is on in the next room because, prime time news. Light conversation.  Mum takes a call.  I can’t tell whom she’s talking to.  I usually can, by either tone, or language.  This one must be a friend I don’t know.  They talk for a bit. I also can’t tell whether it’s an argument or a friendly chat.  But that’s just how Kiembu is.  There really is no polite way to speak it.  Infact,  if you tell them to speak politely you’re asking them to shut up. . . Or change language. 😂. Wî mwaro my peoples? 😂

Mum : Aaaaah no.  There is no such thing.  The devil remains the devil. He steals and kills and destroys .  Whether you know him or not. He does not favour.  The end result is always the same.  I’d rather the angel I don’t know. 

This,  naturally, in response to that old saying, “It is better the devil you know, than the angel you don’t”.
I have never really thought about it.  I think I have used it at some point.  Severally even. Up till now. And all of a sudden, I cannot stomach it.  I mean, mum is right! The devil is just wrong.  Even after you’ve had a working relationship with him many years,  your only guarantee in the end result is discord and chaos. HA! Think about it!

***
I’ve had growing concern over how we treat each other in the tribe.  The family of believers.  Us that are joint heirs with Christ [Rom 8:17]. Complete with the right/privilege/power to become children of God [John 1:12 AMP].
Is it just me, or are some of the emptiest relationships within this family? Regardless of where we’re from, shouldn’t there be this warmth in our chest every time we think about our fellow co-heir? I mean,  you should want the best for them. That also to mean,  prayer and genuine concern for each other should be on fleek 👌! (What is this though?) 

I’ll use my own example.  Two. 
Last week, I’m going some place for an event. I stop for fuel not far from home.  Just as I exit the station is this friend of mine.  We fellowship together.  Powerful Brother in Christ. (Notice the caps, it is a title. ) He’s going my way so I offer him a lift ride. There’s this smell. I don’t know what it is, but its lowkey nasty.  Just plain bad. Problem is, its not the first time I’ve smelt it. It can’t be coincidence that every time its when I’m around brother Sir! For a year plus! Also,  I can’t be the only one that can notice it. I cannot! I desperately want to tell him, to do something about it. Or if they don’t know what to do, then we can, together, find a permanent solution.  Because if it bothers me,  it must have bothered a few Sisters in Christ, their employer from his past job,  fellow workmates, potential souls during evangelism, fellow brethren during fellowship. Et cetera.  I tell him. In the politest of tones.  I’m almost remorseful after.  He breaks down immediately.  I doubt you know how difficult it is for a man to cry.  It is. Very.
We don’t even discuss it.  He’s late,  as am I. So we leave it at that.  But we meet up, later that evening. It’s been a problem.  He doesn’t quite know what to do.  And he is amazed that I care enough to point it out. Seeing as we’re not particularly close.  But we share a Father! And an inheritance! 

One of my girl friends has found her love. 😑  That is the report I’m given. So don’t look at me like that. They’re crazy in love, I’m told.  I get the chance to meet said bae.  Have you met someone for the first time and your system lights up with red flags and all? I ignore it.  Then said bae begins to act ‘funny’. I still say nothing.  Just,  “Tutamwombea aki”. Said bae finally hits my friend in an argument, and goes ahead to blame it on the rage and anger issues et cetera. I feel like it is my fault.  I share it with another friend who also thinks it is. :?.

I found something that explains why our joy, is soooo incomplete. 

[John 15:11-12 NIV] I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

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📷 Love IWRM - PurpleSherbet

I don’t know what about believers says it is ok to be silent about important issues. I do not get why it is easier to tell your girl nahuko about their wrong choice of bae, but will gladly watch as your church girl gets into relationship after another with thugs and armed bandits. Or your boy about his poor hygiene and smelly socks, but have absolutely no problem taking in those fumes from a believer. It makes absolutely no sense.  I expect you to tell it to me straight. If it bothers you, you can bet it does 10 others that I don’t know about. I might not change, but I’ve been warned. I need that kind of concern. We all do in this family! Better than smiling then turning to your phone and going like,  “DID YOU NOTICE HOW BROTHER BRYAN. . .” Take the hallelujahs down a notch! Love me that typa way! 😤 (lol. Hello durama!)

I refuse to accept that you will let the one you love walk around with a bad odour, or skimpy clothes, or bad breath, or an ungodly relationship. A bad decision, a running mouth, a nasty begging/eating habit, baseless argument. Et cetera. Jesus wouldn’t let you walk around like that,  why should you let anyone? Complete your joy! Love for real!

Bridezilla

This past weekend I was at a stay-in residential retreat. It’s those things you’re not quite prepared for,  so you don’t know what to pack.  But I’ve learnt you can never go wrong with a Bible and notebook.  Everything else takes shape. 
Anyways, I’m walking from the shared showers (1per two rooms), and around the common area there’s men,brushing their teeth, others just waiting out their turns at the showers.  These three men catch my eye.  One has been in a fire accident before.  The whole of his back is scarred.  Another has this jagged scar, running roughly diagonally from his left shoulder to the navel. The third, something recent, looks like stitch marks slightly lower than where the heart is. 
All three men go about their business with confidence.  As if they’ve made peace with whatever scarred them , evidently, permanently.  As if loudly proclaiming, “It didn’t kill me, automatically I’m stronger!”

***
Saturday morning devotion 6am. I walk in 15mins late.  I settle at the first seat I can find.  Reading my Bible, I notice next to me is the second man.  With the longer diagonal scar.  Let’s call him Rafiki.  His worship is something biblical. I imagine that’s how King David would worship today.  He bows until his face touches the ground.  Silently, but obviously in fervent prayer.  Free tears. 

7.20am.
I sit down for heavy breakfast. Across the table from me is Rafiki.  This cannot be coincidence. I think to myself.  Small talk,  for a bit.  Conversation takes a turn when a third person, a lady, joins our table.  She’s engaged. Getting married in November. I don’t know how we talk about weddings.  Rafiki has alot to say on weddings. He got married last year, March. 
“Where is your ring? ” The lady asks. 
“It doesn’t fit anymore. They’re working on it at the shop.”
It doesn’t sound believable, but what do I know. 
I lose interest and disappear into my phone for a bit.  I’m brought back by the lady’s words.
“Aki sitaki kuwa bridezilla! ”

(n) : A bride whose behavior is seen as demanding or unreasonable. Stubborn. Know it all. (suffix derived from the Japanese movie monster Godzilla)

***

Two weeks ago I’m ranting, talking to God. I’m irritated about a few things. So I took it to the throne. God says He’s preparing me,  His bride, that I might be found blameless,  without fault, on that day. He has given me a helper, the Holy Spirit to polish up my countenance,  tighten up around me my garment of righteousness,  make sure my outfit before and on that day, is what He paid for. [Eph 6:13-17] The full armour of God, and nothing less.  You know, the main things a make up artist /stylist does to a bride before the wedding day. 

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📷 Robert Hamilton - The New Start

He says I’m just stubborn. I want things done my way,  scripture to fit my situation, making adjustments to my outfit,  such that there is no shield of faith,  because it is easier more fashionable to worry,  no belt of truth. Rather half-truths because it is more glittery that way. No helmet of salvation, because, what bride, ever, wore a helmet? We’d rather a the bird-cage veil of relativism and lukewarm christianity.  I mean 💁. And the breastplate of righteousness? Man that thing is heavy yow! Let’s just do a light corset of ‘it’s not too far’ ,  and ‘it depends on the situation’. And the sword of the Spirit? How unreasonable, right? Have you seen a bride with a weapon? Let’s just do the flower bouquet of quotable quotes. From great minds that trod the earth. This scripture memory thing is too much for a bride on her day to look pretty! *sigh*
And God went on and on,  and I broke down. Because I could see myself in a few of these.  I don’t know about you.  But I am have been bridezilla.  I want.  I want.  My day has to be.  My way.  My terms. Et cetera. 

The problem with this is that,  we know that our way has wrecked us before.  It has left crazy scary scars, it has brought us almost to death, YET we are bent on staying off course. Ignoring the advice of our make up artist /stylist, the Helper. 

Rafiki tells me over lunch, that he got that diagonal scar AFTER He received Jesus. He kept going back and forth on old habits, even while knowing it was wrong. Car accident while coming from a party in the afternoon.  High as a kite.  His passenger, his cousin died months later as a result of accident related injuries.
He’s currently serving as a youth leader in his local church. 
“What’s the hardest bit about it”, I ask him. 

“That not all of us get a second chance over our stubbornness. “

Freely Bound

There’s not much really that makes me angry. These days.  There’s less things that make me anxious.  Even less that take away my peace. You would be surprised how little.  Not that I don’t care much about life and things.  I do.  But I have lived that life before.  Of worry and doubt and fear 😱. And episodes of crazy blinding rage.  I have. And then I encountered Jesus. Learnt from Him, that His yoke is easy, His burden light. That though it still be a burden,  it is much lighter. Infact, nothing in comparison to what I’ve had to drag along in the past.  That though it be a yoke,  it isn’t fast around me.  It is easy.  It is liberation. 

Then I learnt that,  my freedom, from the above mentioned things, must be deliberate.  Because I’m living this human experience.  And down here it is usual to worry.  To be angry and flip things over.  To let anxiety pull you down.  Especially for things you have absolutely no control over. It’s utter nonsense, but that’s what humans do around these parts. So I have to be deliberate. About learning from The Master, and making that exchange every day and hour, if need be. Lest I get caught up in the usual.

I’ll bare myself here. These past few days, about everything has been begging to take me back to that worrying, anxiety-filled, anger-laden life.  And really, it is the tiniest of things.  Those that minister to my being.  And honestly, it has been work! 😅 Whew! 

But I’m reading up yesterday morning, and I come across Pharaoh, and He sounds familiar. 

[Exodus 8:28 NLT] “All right, go ahead,” Pharaoh replied. “I will let you go into the wilderness to offer sacrifices to the Lord your God. But don’t go too far away. Now hurry and pray for me.”

😂 But Pharaoh is shameless! Ati pray for me? The thought of a whole small nation ‘of slaves’ leaving, after 430years in Egypt is just too much for him.  Separation issues? He allows them, to go and sacrifice, and worship, but the instruction is,  only, Not too far!
You’re free to go. . . But must come back next year, a time like this.  You can be happy in your marriage, but not on a daily. Surely, that is too much! You can make progress spiritually, but every so often you must fall.  I mean, not too far! You can walk out of that habit, but not forever! You can be all that you want to be. . . But not fully.  You can be the first to make progress in your family, but it shan’t be tremendous progress, because not too far. You can go, and worship, but just near here.  Little wonder you find yourself on a roller coaster! You’re up, then you’re down.  You’re almost there, but never really there. You’re gods, but die like mere men. [Psalm 82:6] You walk away,  but not too far!

I know you hear me. Pharaoh says you’re free,  but bound. You’re on a long leash. It looks like you’re free,  but really you aren’t. 

But blessed be God! Whose final verdict is EVERYTHING!

[Psalms 124:7 MSG] We’ve flown free from their fangs, free of their traps, free as a bird. Their grip is broken; we’re free as a bird in flight.

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Freely bound for who! God says,  be on your way, and worship me! Then, as if this was not enough,  He makes it public knowledge, that “if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free!” [John 8:36 AMP] No more rides! No more cycles.  You’re on an upward trend.  Like a bird in flight.  You perch on high too. 

This 👆 truth later, I am set for Living. On that upward trend.  In Him is liberty. Paul puts it this way, 
[Acts 17:28 NLT] For in Him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are His offspring.’

Short leash,  true,  but I wouldn’t have it any other way. No really.  Would you?

Shuffle On Out!

Happy September! 🙌🎉!

This past weekend I got an invite to travel and minister at the same time. It was much needed,  this getaway. For many reasons, but especially because every time I get to fellowship in a rural set up, I feel like I am home. 

Let me explain. . .
In 2006 I was fresh in highschool. Kangaru School – Embu. If you’ve been on that Meru highway, you’ve seen this school.  It is not what you would call rural.  At all.  Our Christian Union, among the strongest I have seen, however was nothing like the City church. Jesus is Lord. Alive and well. Powerful and Strong. Relentless and Brave. Holy and expecting. . . That we walk in holiness [Gen 17 :1] .There was no debate about it. It wasn’t said much.  But it was silently woven into every conversation, and therefore became the solid foundation of our faith. 
Every so often, the shiny things of life begin to cloud your judgement, hamper your visibility. Your focus on these principle values/qualities of God. Because, city setting. Et cetera. 
Therefore going back ‘home’  wherever it is that these solid truths rule, does a number on me. 
That was Nyeri, on Saturday, and Kitui on Sunday for me.  I’m so grateful for the Father’s love.  *sigh*

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So,  Sunday morning, we’re driving this lonely road past Kamburu etc dams, so beautiful. And I’m reading up on Leprosy.  (I know, I know! 😐 Just follow me. )
The nature of this wasting disease. Its consequences, especially in those days of old. Segregation, because of its contagious nature. 
(btw,  contrary to common folklore, it doesn’t cause parts to just fall off. Is a liiie! 😂)

It does,  however, waste away tissue ,  could shorten fingers etcetera because. . . Oh Come on! Google it! 😝

Later,  I’m at 2kings 7. These 4 lepers, (friendship of necessity, birds of a feather ) are chilling outside the city. There’s famine in the land.  They’re sooo hungry themselves. Their conversation excites me though.

2 Kings 7:3-4 [MSG] “It happened that four lepers were sitting just outside the city gate. They said to one another, “What are we doing sitting here at death’s door? If we enter the famine-struck city we’ll die; if we stay here we’ll die. So let’s take our chances in the camp of Aram and throw ourselves on their mercy. If they receive us we’ll live, if they kill us we’ll die. We’ve got nothing to lose.””

Whew! 
These ones knew themselves.  Like most of us.  They understood the situation.  Like most of us.  They even weighed the options, like most of us!
But unlike most of us, they made that move! See, when you’re pushed down to the bottom, you realise that the only way out,  is back up.  These four lepers were just hungry,  life threateningly.  Their leprosy was bad,  but their hunger was worse.  So they decided,  sitting at death’s door is no plot you guy,  we stay here,  we’ll die,  we go there, there’s high chances we’ll die, but we might live,  so why not. 

In other words,  if we will die,  it will most certainly not be while doing nothing.  So they shuffle on over, to the Aramean camp.  Before they arrive, the army hears their footsteps.  Only, it sounds in their ears like a great army, with chariots and horses.  So they leave everything, and flee.  The lepers have their day. Coz God’s got their back. He’s amplified their step of faith. They Eat, drink.  Have seconds,  dress up, take gold and other things. 

Reminds me of this one time [1Sam 30:8] God says to David,  “Pursue, you shall indeed overtake, and recover it all”
Hebrews 11:33 (MSG) tells us of men who took promises for themselves. Us.

Most of our lasting issues are not for the lack of solution, rather, the lack of action. 

We plan, strategise, think hard, even pray and inquire of God, He even confirms that if we move in on that resolution, that new life, walking out of that habit that is costing you the crown of life, that relationship, that business opportunity. . . We will overtake and recover all.  Zero loss guarantee. But then we allow ourselves to just dwell on that part,  that if we go out,  the Arameans will kill us!

You’re better off dying in motion than living in stagnation.  God would, that you make progress.  No wonder He leads us from one victory to another[2Cor 2:14]. Because stagnant victory is stale.  Move on out! Shuffle on over!

There is no excuse.  We might be hard pressed on every side, brother Paul says [2Cor 4:8-10] ,but we’re not crushed. . . True, we do not refuse that you are struck down, but you are not destroyed!
That to say, you might be down, ooooh but you’re never out .

There’s always some fight left in you.  Sometimes the only fight you have left is enough for just one thing.  Aaaah, but blessed be God! That’s more than enough!
Psalms 150:6 [NKjV] Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD!

So long as you’re not out, and not destroyed, there’s breath in you,  use it wisely.  The greatest tragedy, is to sit, and do absolutely nothing. And accept defeat.
Keep It Moving!

For Judgement’s Sake

I’m crossing the road after getting off a nduthi motorbike.  It’s four roads.  Ten lanes in total.  And two trenches.  Work.  I’m on the second road when this yellow lorry comes screeching past the speed bumps. Its brakes have failed, I later come to learn.  That doesn’t still mean I wasn’t on the zebra crossing with right of way.  I mean,  any driver is forbidden to drive past a pedestrian-crossing without looking. But its brakes failed.  There isn’t much he could do, the lorry driver.  I mean, It wasn’t his fault.  The lorry just started this morning and decided, at 1327hrs mine brakes shalt fail.eth. I could have decided to stay there coz you know,  I have a right of way in the Traffic Act at any pedestrian crossing, bla bla bla, but really, is that speech/human rights conversation worth giving from a hospital bed somewhere? It is a right, fine, but is it. . . right?

***
Early Monday I met a friend of mine from highschool.  Haven’t spoken much since clearing but we had a good chat.  Mainly about his tattoo,  but good. [Thank You for allowing me to write about it, btw champ]
This tattoo. *sigh* It is not even art.  The font is something close to Vivaldi. Very catchy.  Positioned smack in the middle of the left breast. (He had on a vest, or I am too observant 😒). I think because of the heart.  I forgot to ask. 
The inscription:
Only God can Judge Me“.

Maybe it’s just me, but that statement just stirs me up. Instills fear even. 😱
Only God. You’re at the mercies of no one else.  You accept that. 
If this was a statement of faith,  it would be quite something. But no, it has become a slogan for something that borders rebellion. 
How you will meet brethren, and once where there was an accountability chat, is now that statement, said under your breath.  Hushedly.
And I get that we have a direct command from The Master himself to judge not, that we might, ourselves, not be judged. [Matt 7:1] I get that,  but as partners in walk and talk of the gospel,  we are not judging when we ask about you! Atleast I know I don’t. We’re searching for fruit.  Because, sometimes, as a result of freewill, us christians hide our fruit so far under skimpy dresses and flirty txts, and loose talk and irregular behaviour, we need someone to ask.  To jolt us to reality. Because the fruit we think we still have, is long decayed.  It feels like we still have it, but we don’t.  So we’re busy throwing around statements like “Only God Can Judge Me”.  If you know Him at all, you understand then that He may be slow to anger and abounding in love [Jonah 4:2], but also, that it is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God. [Heb 10:31]

I don’t know about you, but it angers me deeply when I am way out of line with God, and my fellow christians can see it, but say nothing.  What are you waiting for? That I die and burn in hell? Even worse when my closer band of accountability partners/comrade-in-arms (is it comrade or comrades in arms?) say nothing.  I know I might throw around that “unanijudge”  nonsense,  but I really want them to! Not judge me, no.  Rather, search fruit.  Jolt me into action. Snatch me from the fire 🔥. . . I know I will. 
Because

Only God Can Judge Me

,  should be a statement of faith and conviction, not an excuse to live wantonly, and turn away genuine caring brethren. 

It might be your right,  to live within the law,  and dress as you please, say whatever you want, cross the road at your pace, but really is it worth it? Is it right? Paul says, “I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not
everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”-but not everything is constructive.” [1Cor 10:23]

We are fruit searching, that is in our job description when Jude tells us to snatch people from hell’s fury [Jude 1:23] .Not prying to know what they’ve been up to.  Fruit searching, with the intention to salvage,  not get juice for your next mucene tea session with your friends. Fruit searching, so we wring hell dry.

Get busy. 🙂

ForePlay with a capital P

Yesterday was beautiful. 
Chilly morning. Lots of dew. I remember that much. Looked like a slight drizzle to start the day. I love that kind. 
I’m in the worship team in Church. The privilege of worshipping from the altar will never grow old. I won’t let it. 
We praise, and worship. There’s a certain order of service. Everywhere. I’m sure that’s the same where you fellowship too. (Do you btw? Do you fellowship somewhere? Meet with brethren to encourage each other and glorify God? If you don’t , you should. Heb 10:25. You must! )

As we worship, it’s time for intercession. Which is basically praying for our nation, agreeing with someone at the altar concerning a few things. Its beautiful, really. 

Yesterday though. 
Stomach clenched, watery eyes. Hands lifted, singing in worship. The leader of service comes to call on the ministry team (just follow me). Usually, I will open my eyes, because, to follow what they are saying. Or whatever. 
Yesterday though… 
I want to open my eyes, but God doesn’t get it! HE asks, “Why?” 

I’m like, “What?” 

“You heard me! Why? Why stop? Is it the wrong thing to keep on? With your hands in the air, tears etc? IS IT? Is it such a terrible thing, you can’t be judged by it? You can’t be seen worshipping a second more than everyone has stopped and moved on to the next item in the service programme? I mean, at a mall, that would be unusual. Or in public transport. But in church? Isn’t it unusual to be in my Presence and able to control yourself? To be with me yet you can turn off at will? Isn’t it like playing tease? You’re willing to have a little fun, but not give yourself fully? Isn’t it wrong? If your wife just called you sweet names and made you awakened to love, yet all the while knowing she could turn off amd walk away without getting intimate, would you love that? 

“NO! That is just wrong, Lord! “

” But that is you! The bride of Christ. That is what you do. Come to me, lay yourself before me, begin to spend time, but at your soonest convenience, you open your eyes, and leave me there. Just as I’m about to ravish you. And take over you. Just as I’m about to get intimate and deposit fruit that remains. Just as I am about to show you that I am all that you signed up for, plus so much more, you leave! So why? Why do you want to stop. I want to attend to you. Where are you going? “

I don’t know how much longer I stayed on my knees. I only know it was barely long enough. I must have HIM. My Lord. I must have him. 

I don’t know about you. But I’m guilty as charged. I am. Even as a worship leader. Rushing on to the next song. Rushing to beat the set service time. I must be out of the house, else I’ll be late for work. Yet all that I seek is in Him. My Father. My Life. My literal heartbeat. My Lover. My sole(soul) provider. Jehovah. My God. 

So here’s to much needed time in and with Him. To looking weird with hands lifted long after everyone has stopped. To tears flowing as HE ministers in a sermon. Here’s to letting Jehovah take over. Here’s to awakening love and staying long enough for intimacy. Here’s to foreplay, for Play. With actual play in mind. 
Hurry for who? 
Nel Kabera says, “God is in the business of making Himself known. Intimacy is the name of the game. “

You Have It All

Yesterday I got my life back. You know when you have been too busy, with good things even. Gaining ground, you lose yourself in all that? You lose your head rather. You just go with it. You fuss over the tiniest of things. 

I read a book early this year “A Hunger for God” by John Piper (great read btw. It will disorganise you) and in there it says, “Beware of loving loving God, than loving God”. 
Like, Take care that you don’t fall for the feeling and joy you get being with God that you now love it more than you love The Father himself. 

I’ll let that sink. *sips tea*

The way we’ve been wired, us humans love the good stuff. If we don’t get it, we complain, and we keep wanting more. Bigger, better, shinier. So much so, we forget what we already have. Without strings attached. And that is the real blessing really. 
Life. Family. Health. God. 
Just without anything else. 

I’m driving down that steepish descent from from roasters before you get to Alsops on the superhighway. I’m with Ndush(my dose of Ukambani) :’D. We slow down. There’s this huge Fortuner 2010, the British Army ones. Trapped right under it is a boda boda (Hongya? I didn’t see the make). It’s fresh, this accident. The rider’s head is swollen already. Helmet pieces strewn all over the tarmac. There’s rivers of blood gushing out from the back. He’s trying to move, in evident pain. 
His passenger, a woman, lay there unconscious. Oblivious of all the attention around her. 
God bless the blue Subaru owner and his friend in pyjamas for stopping to rush her to hospital. 
Ndush and I make a quick prayer for them and head on out. 
A couple of hours later, I’m alone, headed home. Around 7pm. There’s this section of Kamiti Road, right before the turn to that Jacaranda slip road, that connects to the Northern bypass. It looks like they used dough to mould it. Its horrible. Who is the mp again? I’d rather murram, any day. I digress. 
I branch off hapo Jacaranda, and my tail is not even off the road, this loud crash tears the quiet. My rear view mirror shows it all. Red fielder, dragged off the road by this Nazigi Rt44. I’m not sure whether anyone is hurt. That slip road is too tiny for anything. 
The rest of the journey I can’t help but think, It could easily have been me! 

📷 H Nazli Yilmaz

While I’m so busy asking God for shinier things, I forget to appreciate the basic, solid blessing I have, there’s someone who would easily trade places with me. I mean. I may not have it all. . . Or do I? 
1 John 4:4 [AMP] “… because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world.” 
Don’t I have it all? I mean, my solids are solid, my foundations are concrete, my future is bullet proof, my heritage secure (Psalm 16:6).
Do not be so addicted to the shinier, you forget the basic. The gift, you forget the Giver . 
The presents will never satisfy like the Presence will. 
Let thankfulness abound. [Phill 4:6] 
You have it all. \o/

Sit Pretty

Often I’ve said how much I love my mornings to myself. That boot period when I just let my thoughts cuddle with God. 
Today my phone buzzed away quite early. Before that moment. I wasn’t going to pick, but it was Kioko calling. Kioko is my spiritual father, from my highschool days. So I picked. I always do. 

No pleasantries. 

“God is well on time bro. He is WELL on time! ” 

📷 Gabriella Corrado – Waiting

It was fiery, that phonecall. I haven’t been able to go back to sleep after that. I’m full in my spirit. . . I’m buzzing with activity within already. 
So I shuffle on over to John 11. My boy Lazarus. He caught a fever the night before. It got worse. They rushed him to that clinic nearby. . . They’d just ran out of mwarubaine. They hail a donkey. Go on over to Bethany Level 5. The doctor is away. A high level meeting of experts in Jerusalem. They send word to Jesus. He is on his way. NOT running, but He is. Lazarus dies. They’re bitter. The mourners at the wake are full of conspiracy theories as they dip their unleavened bread in their milk. “If Jesus was such a good friend, why hasn’t he shown?” “Fake friends!” Another quips! The sisters are torn. The funeral is brief. Gone too soon all over the scroll-like eulogies. A few tears. Lazarus was a nice man. A few happy souls. Now they can go to ask for Martha’s hand in marriage without a brother’s nag(we do that). His cousin can get his nice robes, you know, for synagogue services. His friends don’t need to pay off the bad debts. 

Bitter sweet moments. The villagers still gather at their bungalow every day. Mourners. Someone hallas, Jesus is In Town! Martha is out to meet Him, but doesn’t quite connect with Him [v23-24] . He asks for Mary. She breaks at His feet. The Master is deeply disturbed. To be honest, a little angered in His Spirit. He weeps. The smug talkers from the funeral are here too. “Crocodile tears! He can do all things, He couldn’t keep His boy from dying? Pffft!”. 
Jesus is there, ready to do good. He commands for the stone to be rolled away. . . Not for Him, no. For Lazarus. I mean, our boy hasn’t had a meal in 4days, he’ll have trouble trying to roll it away! Martha is out here , still missing the point! [v39] oh Martha! : ( 
Lazarus Come Out! Here is what happens in the background. Even insects that had had a juicy piece of Lazarus involuntarily took it back. Everything that was Lazarus had to walk out of that tomb. And walk out it did. 

That was 4 days late(r). Look, God is well on time. Deadlines are to keep us in order, not to hasten his steps. So what if they pass, or it dies? Or you’re getting older, or you miss out? No really, so what! It’s always deadline plus 4.. . Or set date plus 4. Or more. He’s always on time. Even when it was child bearing age plus 60(years) for our girl Sarah. 

[John 11:14-15 MSG] 
Then Jesus became explicit: “Lazarus died. And I am glad for your sakes that I wasn’t there. You’re about to be given new grounds for believing. Now let’s go to him.” 

Will you just wait patiently on your new grounds? He’s on His way, not running. He’s just on His way. And when He arrives, you won’t miss it. Sit pretty! What’s all the rush!?